With 50 Shades of Gray becoming quite a mega-phenomenon, its no surprise that most of us think we already have an idea of what BDSM (Bondage, Discipline/Dominance, Submission/Sadism and Masochism) is. The reality is, E.L James’ trilogy provided merely a glimpse into only ONE type of sex between a dominant, wealthy, privileged man and a submissive, somewhat naïve, “inexperienced” young woman. These characters do not represent the true BDSM communities where various shapes, sizes, ethnicities and economic statuses preset in our society are represented. Additionally, there are numerous levels of interest, engagement and goodies to test/play with/use within BDSM, showing the value this lifestyle places on acknowledging and respecting an individuals’ unique sexual needs, wants and desires.
Have you ever enjoyed being blindfolded during sex? What about getting a nice smack on the ass once in a while, or even tying down your sexual partner with handcuffs? Ever been interested in involving floggers, paddles and/or whips to your next sexual experience? Better yet, getting creative and making your very own red room full of goodies to try out?! All of these interests belong under the category of BDSM, which is an umbrella term to describe a form of recreational sex play hinging on the consensual exchange of power.
Contrary to the popularized ideals and displays of BDSM in media, elements of sexual consent, conversations about safety, mutual trust and respect, and using safe words to indicate boundaries and limitations create the foundation of the BDSM lifestyle.
So, the next time you think your sex life may resemble 50 Shades of Vanilla more than 50 Shades of Gray, remember that those shades of vanilla have their place among the BDSM community, AS DO YOU!!! Here’s to many more years of vanilla, chocolate, strawberry and every other flavor of sex you can possibly enjoy in your lifetime! ;)
As always, remember your sexy is safe with me!! Until next time...
- ♥ e.
This article was previously published in the 2015 Sexapalooza trade show program.